guilt

Sitting alone, shrounded in darkness,
Enveloping me, a tinge of sadness.
Having lost sight of the road ahead,
I choose to become numbed instead.

Preparing myself for the inevitable,
whilst coming to terms im no longer invincible.
Stepping away from my pedestral of morality,
I contemplated the purpose of mortality.

Inside me the struggles begin,
As i fought against the 7 deadly sins.
Knowingly, i am losing the battles within.
The scale of justice tilted towards sin.

i lost to the demons within...

Slowly but surely,
I fell from grace.
Deliverance and acceptance,
were all written over my face.

Was i secretly hoping for the dust to settle?
And had i subconsciously contributed to the losing battle?
Did i pick the path of least resistance,
for the sole purpose of substaining my mere existance?

Succumbing to the mandibles of guilt,
I am nothing but a portrait of weariness and filth.
Lost and beaten,
Depressed and forsaken.
how i wish, the demons were never awaken...

-cj
Summer, 2007
Garden City