no cold comfort

Snow in Paris. It feels like the first time every time. Looking at the tiny white flakes fall from the sky, he marveled at the sheer number required in order to paint the whole of Paris white. He held out his hand to touch the snow flakes. They melted into small blobs of water the moment they landed on his palm. He felt a little guilty as the warmth of his palms had snuffed the life out this little bit of living magic. He redrew his hand quickly. He grimaced at the irony of how some people, like the snow, do not appreciated the warmth of an outstretched hand.

"Private Propriety"-cj

I know. I saw the sign and I kept away.

watershed

My thoughts are random, my words don't flow..

and my glass is always empty.

snow

It snowed in November. A magical finishing touch to a wonderful weekend.

resting in peace

We were literally walking among the dead as we descended the spiral stairs into the first layer of the catacombs. The underground labyrinth tells a story of the past. Its beginning as a mining ground and its strategic role in the second world war made the catacomb an important piece of french history. The entire network traces 280km and is made up of 7 layers. However, tourists are given limited access of 1.6km of the first layer which is considered safer and less likely to collapse. The humidity of the tunnel rose and our anticipation rose as the path leads us deeper underground. We talked in hushed voices as the silence became as suffocating as the thinned air; even the water droplets from the cave's ceiling could be heard.

"one of the many underground galleries" - cj

" "-cj

The whole walk lasted 45min and we were glad we are finally back on solid ground. We grabbed a quick lunch and head towards our next stop, Pere Lachaise Cemetery. The cemetery is the final resting place of hundreds of famous politicians, inventor, singer, artists and royalities. The first step into the cemetery and I couldn't help but notice the mysterious serenity that surrounds the place.

"sunset."-cj

"Oscar Wilde.
noticed the hundreds of lipsticks marks on the momument."-cj

"Edith Piaf who sang La Vie en Rose. "-cj

"chopin's." - cj

"Arman's last words : Finally Alone!" - cj

"white rose."-cj

Today I walked among past giants, whose shoes I would never be able to fit.

24

A simple celebration and it was just like another day. This same day every year, I would evaluate myself and redefine my resolutions. My self worth isn't being measured by my academic achievement, my taxable income, the number of friends and birthday wishes I have or even the size of my health insurance coverage. I myself would not be able to evaluate my self worth. So. Thanks to those you who touched my life at one point or another. Today is not only a celebration of how far I have come but also a celebration of the influence all of you have in my life. If you are proud of me, proud of being my family and friend, then you would have given me the answer to my self worth.

To a friend who called yesterday. I think "the one who has the most to offer, isn't always the one with the least self believe. Instead, she is the one with the most number of people believing in her."

Thank you.

Nathaneal - 20:11

"Bubbles of our own devising

As we go through life, we experience things that make us laugh, cry, sing, dance, brood and turn cold. While the fun experiences are the ones we enjoy, it is the sad ones that we normally remember... Humans are such melodramatic and retrospective creatures. Thus it is when we have in mind those times of pain where we create a bubble around ourselves to shield us from all that would hurt us. However, in our quest to keep ourselves safe, we have walled ourselves in too well.

Think of children, they with their bright eyes curious minds are fearless in their quests of exploration. We were once like them, till we shed our naivevity and learnt to "play safe". When we first made friends we let down our guard and expand the walls that we constructed to hide ourselves in. Amongst friends, the walls of bubbles are no longer impervious, that is why we hurt the most when the pain is dealt by a friend. Cause they are the ones that breached that wall.

As we age, there are times when we have to be alone. It is then that we find ourselves frightened and our natural urge to shore up our defences overcomes us. We build higher walls, thicker walls, walls so thick that the bubble that was once our shield becomes our prison. We cry out but our pleas are stifled, and echo endlessly within the very walls we built with our own hands, tormenting us so.

As we being to feel distanced from others, we long for the feeling when our walls allow more than just a cold breeze in. The times when friendly faces and warm embraces passed through our walls, reaching our cold interior. But trapped in our own devices we must be the ones to reach out for others are repelled by our defences and at the same time, engaged in the communion which defines our society, that which we crave for.

As we take apart our walls, stone by stone, we are constantly plagued by doubts and fears, but our yearning is both stronger and more urgent. Finally, light begins to fill the cold space, the bubble that we created. Once our eyes adjust to the glaring brightness that we have so long been absent from, we realise that there are faces beyond the light. Friends."

i know i always have your vote of confidence. thks.

critical

I read the essays written by some of my peers. Their essays impressed me with their insights on social issues. They made me realized my lack critical analysis. With the given education, I able to define and solve problems. However, I lack opinions when it comes to world issues. I read the news and am updated with what's happening around the world. And it stops there. The US presidential elections, the global recession and North Korea's closing of their borders are just pieces of news. I'm apathetic to things don't stuck too close to heart.

i need to change.

big picture

I spend the last half an hour of the paper sitting at the back of the room watching everyone around me writing fervently; putting their thoughts down on paper. The pen twirled round my finger as I concentrated on keeping it in motion. While I am still worrying about exams, some of my friends are already halfway up the corporate ladder.

I tried to visualize my future.

Where would I be 5years from now? I do not have an answer for myself. For a third of my life, I had thought I am going to become a doctor and I spent the same one third of my life working towards it. My future would have been so predictable if I had been admitted to medical school. But look at where am I now. Training to become an engineer even though I had a totally different career plan in mind. I looked at the road ahead and I know it just became more exciting. The past year had been great. The experiences, sometimes painful, had been beautiful. I'm sorry if I had given the impression that my life sucks. But upon reflection, i really have nothing to complain about. I living the dream of some people.

The two hands of the clock aligned themselves and the exam ended. I stopped pondering and handed in my paper. I flipped through it to make sure I have done all the question possible. Yup. I did all I could.

I handed in the paper with 9 of the 15 questions blank.

social responsibility

Citigroup will cut 52,000 jobs by early next year in its most dramatic move yet to restore profitability and bolster a sagging share price. The economical pulse stopped and 52,000 lives got affected.

sigh...

On my way

to my last paper..

baby's breathe

"hanging on till last remaining light."-cj

The sun sets on one side of the world and rises on the other. one more day till i can start breathing normally again. last paper.

Dear sister

happy birthday.

breathe

Nearing midnight, I was still fretting over the morale crushing 2hr past year paper; after having worked on it for the past 3.5 hrs. I managed to draw the some sadistic humor from the ironic happenstance that though I usually prided myself on my work efficiency, I am hapless when it comes to solving the Optimization problems. The mammoth effort required for the matrix manipulation is like making my mind perform contortionist acts and doing mental gymnastics while at it.

Needed a breather.

I took a peek outside my window looking at nothing in particular. The world outside's black and a cold wind sent a chill down my spine. I was suddenly swept by pangs of loneliness. We are physically together, but everyone is leading their own life. This reminded of how my social circle have slowly devolved from the "you get my back and i get yours"to the "you scratch my back and I'll scratch yours." How long more before I outlive my usefulness?

I guess cynicism has caught up with age.

punishing

The reason why thankless tasks are so hard to perform is plainly because they are unappreciated and totally depend on the kindness of the individual. Please do not make it any more difficult by putting on a face.

you are gg through a bad patch. granted.

Feynman's Problem Solving Algorithm

When I saw this algorithm on a friend's msn, it got me wondering what could this universal algorithm be? This algorithm was developed by Richard Feynman, the youngest scientist on the Manhattan Project. I wondered if he had applied this algorithm to the nuclear bomb project. Now, whenever I come across a complex problem , I follow the Feynman's Problem Solving Algorithm.

The Feynman Problem-Solving Algorithm:
(1) Write down the problem
(2) Think very hard
(3) Write down the answer

see how the greatest minds on earth approach a problem.

Exam

the time of the year when the school is out to prove that you ought to still remain in school because you haven't learn enough.

im feeling the adrenaline rush again.

i vote

"SINGAPORE may have a non-Chinese prime minister one day but that is unlikely to happen any time soon, Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong said on Saturday, four days after Americans elected their first black president."

since when did we ever vote for a PM? then again, we already have our non chinese president, long before US even began their presidential elections. but the world didn't seem to care.

Of Science and Lisa.

By Toby Sterling, Associated Press

"AMSTERDAM, Netherlands (AP) —The mysterious half-smile that has intrigued viewers of the Mona Lisa for centuries isn't really that difficult to interpret, Dutch researchers said Thursday.

She was smiling because she was happy —83 percent happy, to be exact, according to scientists from the University of Amsterdam.

The result showed the painting's famous subject was 83 percent happy, 9 percent disgusted, 6 percent fearful and 2 percent angry. She was less than 1 percent neutral, and not at all surprised. The software isn't designed to register subtle emotions. So it couldn't detect the hint of sexual suggestion or disdain many have read into Mona Lisa's eyes.

"It's always fun to apply technology to areas of public interest, and sometimes you can come up with results that are very illuminating,'' he said.

"It's hocus pocus, not serious science,'' Wayman said. "But it's good for a laugh, and it doesn't hurt anybody.""

i'm 26% happy, 13% sad, 2% amused and 69% neutral.

closed doors

Isolation is not the best way to cope with unhappiness. Sadness and Anger breed upon themselves. The jealous feeling you have of the cheerfulness of the world outside may actually be the lesser of 2 evils.

let us in.

52 :46

no surprise who won the US elections.

sweet

when people are out to crucify you. drown them out with your undying enthusiasm. show them how happy you are. some people are just out to make life difficult for you. I see this as the trials and tribulations that I have to go through as character building.

I put up with my daily share of childish people too.

to my friend

by Enya


"who can say where the road goes
where the day flows, only time

and who can say if your love grows
as your heart shows, only time

who can say why your heart sighs
as your love flies, only time

and who can say why your heart cries
when your love lies, only time

who can say when the roads meet
that they might beat, in your heart

and who can say when the day sleeps
if the night keeps, all your heart

night keeps, all your heart

who can say if your love grows
as your heart shows, only time

and who can say where the road goes
where the day flows, only time

who knows, only time..
who knows, only time.."

I'm shocked by the abruptness of the news. but time heals.

laundry

oh the considerateness of some people.. how can you take out my laundry from the dryer when it is still damp.

and there's still 15min left on the clock.