"opposite poles i guess.."-cj29.8.10
eco urinal
This invention revolutionize your relief experience. It turns nature's call from a two step process into a single integrated process. I cannot find a reason why this invention won't work. In fact, it can even get people who do not usually wash their hands after peeing to do so anyway; since the sink is conveniently there and since they have to flush. The general level of hygiene will improve. :D
The only few scenarios that I can come up with for this invention not to work is when... the user do not flush and insist on not washing his hands anyway.
"picture explanation"-cj
"saves physical space as well."-cj
kill two birds with one stone.
The only few scenarios that I can come up with for this invention not to work is when... the user do not flush and insist on not washing his hands anyway.
"picture explanation"-cj
"saves physical space as well."-cjinfantry
I was reading a post when I saw this line, "There is a reason why armies still have foot soldiers, and why foot soldiers still carry bayonet." It is suppose to draw draw parallel to why pen and paper are still being used in the digital age. But I was too caught up with the term foot soldier, it seems so long since I put on my fatigues. I swear I am going to give my bmt buddy a call one of these days.. wonder if he is still with DSTA? (hmm go check facebook..)
Then I remembered The Infantry Song.
Then I remembered The Infantry Song.
We are the bedrock of the Army,
Wanting to keep our people free.
Committed to the independence of our Nation,
We are the men from the Infantry.
There will never be a mountain too high,
Or a route too tough for us.
We are about to rule the day and the darkest night,
We won't rest till the wrong is right.
*Chorus:
From the land, air and sea,
We'll strike our enemies.
They'll call us the Queen of the battlefield.
We're brothers in arms.
We're brothers proud to be.
We're the first, the one and only Infantry.
We're a special band of soldiers,
Raised to guard our Nation's shores.
We based our lives upon a set of 7 values,
To defend our Nation's cause.
And when our country says she needs us,
We're always there by her side.
To protect the lives of every Singaporean.
For Singapore, we'll give our lives.
Wanting to keep our people free.
Committed to the independence of our Nation,
We are the men from the Infantry.
There will never be a mountain too high,
Or a route too tough for us.
We are about to rule the day and the darkest night,
We won't rest till the wrong is right.
*Chorus:
From the land, air and sea,
We'll strike our enemies.
They'll call us the Queen of the battlefield.
We're brothers in arms.
We're brothers proud to be.
We're the first, the one and only Infantry.
We're a special band of soldiers,
Raised to guard our Nation's shores.
We based our lives upon a set of 7 values,
To defend our Nation's cause.
And when our country says she needs us,
We're always there by her side.
To protect the lives of every Singaporean.
For Singapore, we'll give our lives.
God.. bmt was a good 7 years ago.. 20 more years to ROD.
28.8.10
paraphrasing
After having read your senior's thesis so many times, you find writing original sentences in your own thesis pretty much a chore. With the same few keywords there is only so many sensible permutations you can try to fit them into a sentence before they become incomprehensible.
I am page 20 out of 170.
I am page 20 out of 170.
27.8.10
In reply
Don't worry if you do not understand everything that was thrown into the previous post. It just means you are not a geek.
26.8.10
FDDP's last ditch
The year long war ends with this final assault at the last ditch. The journey has been arduous and un-computational. The assault on the Thesis will begin at dawn tomorrow. Having claimed small victories at Conferences, Modules, Journals and Labs, I find myself within sight of the final 'multi' objective. I psyched myself up for the 2week long battle ahead of me. Flexing my fingers, I thought to myself, tomorrow is going to be a fierce battle. With fingers firing at 60 words per minute, a long drawn battle would see soldiers falling from fatigue, tension headaches, trembling fingers and double visions. The final compilation during the night of the Java Esclipse brought the casualty tally to 10Gigs of generated results. Matlab Medical has been called in to clean up the list. Nothing off the charts!, I had warned them. I want no outliers left behind. Keep everything within the STANDARD deviation. Heuristically, stochastic optimizers have been call in to maximize my odds of winning. Deterministically, I know the year long march can only end with one possibility. My standing triumphant over the 200 page long monster. This journey has been evolutionary! RAWR!!!
i prepare myself for the first salvo.
i prepare myself for the first salvo.
Free calls via gmail
I hope it's not just me who finds this a game changing move by Google in the internet calling market. Read it here -> Google offers free voice calls via Gmail
haha
I read the previous post again and noticed how much stuff I try to squeeze into one single post. It's a bad writing habit which takes a while to cure.
i got tickets to yog closing ceremony!
i got tickets to yog closing ceremony!
25.8.10
wrap up
The fervor of the past month ended today as I tidied up the references. Though this last work barely squeeze into the maximum page count, it seems seriously lacking in content and contribution. A cursory glance shows a decent work with a variety of graphs that decorated the work and hid the incompleteness of the arguments. Flowcharts, box plots, scatter plots, spy plots, time series trace, 3D bar graphs and drawings are strategically placed to distract the reader from the main content.
The literature review follows a structured well developed formula with just enough descriptions to give some hint of understanding without depth of the subject matter and a long list of citations to show scope and extensiveness of prior investigation. In the citations list, make sure the who's who of the field are all promptly cited. Thumbs up are given to cool catchy acronyms as they help to mark up the sexiness and modernity of the technique proposed in the work. i.e. Strength Pareto Evolutionary Algorithm - Recombined (SPEAR) sounds much more attractive than Pareto Inspired Evolutionary Algorithm (PIEA). Acronyms served other objectives. Make sure you do not use the word 'fuzzy' in your work, it's over used and no longer cool.
My final work was uninhibitedly peppered with acronyms and annotations such as NSGAII, REDS, DM, K, SPEA2, MOEA, ITEI, FC and etc and reference. Acronyms filter out the experts from the newbies. The untrained readers bombarded with the array of acronyms tend to question their own expertise as they face the unfamiliarity of the acronyms used in this area. Busy inexperienced reviewers tend to not check out the reference work to obtain a more in depth understanding of the algorithm behind the acronyms. Keep your fingers crossed for their pride might give you the benefit of the doubt. Sexy abbreviations and nice pictures.. this fields is all about marketing your work correctly. People like myself who place more emphasis on the number of works published rather than the journey of discovery do not belong rightfully in academia. So why am I even considering a Phd?
because I can.. and at a relatively low opportunity cost.
The literature review follows a structured well developed formula with just enough descriptions to give some hint of understanding without depth of the subject matter and a long list of citations to show scope and extensiveness of prior investigation. In the citations list, make sure the who's who of the field are all promptly cited. Thumbs up are given to cool catchy acronyms as they help to mark up the sexiness and modernity of the technique proposed in the work. i.e. Strength Pareto Evolutionary Algorithm - Recombined (SPEAR) sounds much more attractive than Pareto Inspired Evolutionary Algorithm (PIEA). Acronyms served other objectives. Make sure you do not use the word 'fuzzy' in your work, it's over used and no longer cool.
My final work was uninhibitedly peppered with acronyms and annotations such as NSGAII, REDS, DM, K, SPEA2, MOEA, ITEI, FC and etc and reference. Acronyms filter out the experts from the newbies. The untrained readers bombarded with the array of acronyms tend to question their own expertise as they face the unfamiliarity of the acronyms used in this area. Busy inexperienced reviewers tend to not check out the reference work to obtain a more in depth understanding of the algorithm behind the acronyms. Keep your fingers crossed for their pride might give you the benefit of the doubt. Sexy abbreviations and nice pictures.. this fields is all about marketing your work correctly. People like myself who place more emphasis on the number of works published rather than the journey of discovery do not belong rightfully in academia. So why am I even considering a Phd?
because I can.. and at a relatively low opportunity cost.
22.8.10
still
If there is a few words I can use to describe myself, I would choose still as one of them. For some of you, still translates into boring. Maybe this story can give you a better of the kind of still I am referring to.
Two men were arguing about a flag flapping in the wind. "It's the wind that is really moving," stated the first one. "No, it is the flag that is moving," contended the second. A Zen master, the sixth Patriarch, who happened to be walking by, overheard the debate and interrupted them. "Neither the flag nor the wind is moving," he said, "It is MIND (sometimes its HEART) that moves."
Some people reading this blog might comment that by talking about still, is no longer still. They will tell me that I am missing the point. From a blogging point of view, I can only tell them that they are missing the point of why I am missing the point. They will then insist that by telling them they are missing the point of me missing the point, I am missing the point. so on so forth...
Sigh.. My iterative argument just proves that they are right. I am not as still as I had thought myself to me. My mind was not still, so it wandered off into a downhill iterative argument. Perhaps, my still exist as an unstable equilibrium entity not even Lyapunov stable. Mathematically speaking, I need more negatives poles. hur..
Looking how far I have strayed from the original post, everyone's probably lost in my gibberish. I know I totally missed the point here.
perhaps I am not so still after all..
Two men were arguing about a flag flapping in the wind. "It's the wind that is really moving," stated the first one. "No, it is the flag that is moving," contended the second. A Zen master, the sixth Patriarch, who happened to be walking by, overheard the debate and interrupted them. "Neither the flag nor the wind is moving," he said, "It is MIND (sometimes its HEART) that moves."
Some people reading this blog might comment that by talking about still, is no longer still. They will tell me that I am missing the point. From a blogging point of view, I can only tell them that they are missing the point of why I am missing the point. They will then insist that by telling them they are missing the point of me missing the point, I am missing the point. so on so forth...
Sigh.. My iterative argument just proves that they are right. I am not as still as I had thought myself to me. My mind was not still, so it wandered off into a downhill iterative argument. Perhaps, my still exist as an unstable equilibrium entity not even Lyapunov stable. Mathematically speaking, I need more negatives poles. hur..
Looking how far I have strayed from the original post, everyone's probably lost in my gibberish. I know I totally missed the point here.
perhaps I am not so still after all..
20.8.10
flight
We have booked our flight to Cambodia next month. Unexpected expenditure like this makes me wonder if it is wise to hold so little cash in the savings account. However, there is only so much boredom one can handle in our line of work, so we made the decision to leave the country on impulse. (Thank god for budget airlines) I cannot wait to see Angkor Wat.
Anyone has any Cambodian recommendations?
Anyone has any Cambodian recommendations?
15.8.10
bel far niente
I was halfway through the 21st story of Eat Pray Love when I come across this beautiful Italian phrase - bel far niente - which means the beauty of doing nothing. The book highlighted Elizabeth's difficulty to appreciate bel far niente. Her consistent need to find something to do is something which many of us can relate to personally. Alright, I am guilty of this too as, often, I find myself taking on more than what I can handle. She made a distinction between entertainment and pleasure. Do you engage in the activities because you truly enjoyed it or is it simply because you need to be entertained? I confess. I read news and books not because I enjoy reading. Reading is more out of habit, a personal obligation to be up to date with the news, nothing bad can come out of it and mainly because I cannot just do nothing. I check my emails compulsively not because I am expecting any emails, but because I need to do something.
Gone were the days in Europe where sit and stare is a way of life. Back in Singapore, I cannot fathom sitting at a cafe, sipping coffee and watching the world goes by. The lazy weekend stroll along la Seine river, the picnicking in Luxembourg gardens and the people watching at Sacred Coeur were all replaced. They were replaced by the brisk walk to catch the next bus 95 that arrives at Bouna Vita and overtake crowds at Dhoby Ghaut Exchange, the fast food delivery to the work desk and people watching in the crowded Engineering canteen (to spot the group that is vacating their table). C'est la vie.
How i wish that I am able to sit and stare and enjoy the moment of "my" time with myself. By taking a snapshot of my life at that moment to freeze the inevitability of time. In retrospect, that was why this blog was titled Moment. For the occasional visitor, for myself, for the passing stranger to stop for a moment and take a closer look at what is happening around us.
"eat pray love."-cj
My equivalent version of the book will be titled Eat Sleep Stone.
Gone were the days in Europe where sit and stare is a way of life. Back in Singapore, I cannot fathom sitting at a cafe, sipping coffee and watching the world goes by. The lazy weekend stroll along la Seine river, the picnicking in Luxembourg gardens and the people watching at Sacred Coeur were all replaced. They were replaced by the brisk walk to catch the next bus 95 that arrives at Bouna Vita and overtake crowds at Dhoby Ghaut Exchange, the fast food delivery to the work desk and people watching in the crowded Engineering canteen (to spot the group that is vacating their table). C'est la vie.
How i wish that I am able to sit and stare and enjoy the moment of "my" time with myself. By taking a snapshot of my life at that moment to freeze the inevitability of time. In retrospect, that was why this blog was titled Moment. For the occasional visitor, for myself, for the passing stranger to stop for a moment and take a closer look at what is happening around us.
"eat pray love."-cj7th month
The 7th month is usually the busiest month for me. I spend my weekends running from one make shift tent with a stage to another make shift tent with a stage. Before any of you get any wild ideas, its better to let you all know that I am not a part time ghost buster and neither am I a gei tai singer. I am a coolie. (Hahaa I bet it's been a while since the word has surfaced for most of you. And I can see some kind of lame jokes forming in some of your corny brains. Something along the line of.. What do you call the son of a cool dude? A coolie!)
Back to the the main topic.
During the weekends of the 7th month, my parents would rope me in to help deliver the goods for the auction dinner and prayers. This year is exceptionally special, as every delivery I make would jolly well be the last delivery I make for the "family" business. Recently, the self sustainability of the business has been questioned. With no clear direction from the leadership, annual turnover is decreasing over the years. Old businesses like ours that distributes and retails canned food and sundry are fighting a losing battle with Giant (literally and figuratively) daily. Their economy of scale alone is able to put us out of business, not to mention all those publicity. The remaining customer base comprise main of a few remaining old faithfuls. Goodwill accumulated and relationship forged during my grandfather's reign is waning as our clients are slowing being phased out by 7-11, Cheers and Econ mini mart. Our common fate bonds us to a common demise. It is an old business still trapped in an old era where manual labor still prevails, where receipts are still written in Chinese and where customers are more than just friends.
It would be a pity if it were to fold. We do not say it out, but we all know that it is inevitable. The government do not encourage inefficient businesses and do not support SMEs that are still in the old trade. Also, there is no successor from the next generation. If you want to know where is it, we sit along the row of shop house at the junction of Still road and East Coast road.
losing part of our history everyday..
Back to the the main topic.
During the weekends of the 7th month, my parents would rope me in to help deliver the goods for the auction dinner and prayers. This year is exceptionally special, as every delivery I make would jolly well be the last delivery I make for the "family" business. Recently, the self sustainability of the business has been questioned. With no clear direction from the leadership, annual turnover is decreasing over the years. Old businesses like ours that distributes and retails canned food and sundry are fighting a losing battle with Giant (literally and figuratively) daily. Their economy of scale alone is able to put us out of business, not to mention all those publicity. The remaining customer base comprise main of a few remaining old faithfuls. Goodwill accumulated and relationship forged during my grandfather's reign is waning as our clients are slowing being phased out by 7-11, Cheers and Econ mini mart. Our common fate bonds us to a common demise. It is an old business still trapped in an old era where manual labor still prevails, where receipts are still written in Chinese and where customers are more than just friends.
It would be a pity if it were to fold. We do not say it out, but we all know that it is inevitable. The government do not encourage inefficient businesses and do not support SMEs that are still in the old trade. Also, there is no successor from the next generation. If you want to know where is it, we sit along the row of shop house at the junction of Still road and East Coast road.
losing part of our history everyday..
14.8.10
lately
Did you hear the good news?
My supervisor has officially given me the go ahead to look for work! His generosity surprised me when he told me to wrap up whatever I am doing now and get cracking on my thesis. He even offered to be my referee. I guess he hadn't found out about my great escapade last summer. Now come to think of it.. If I hadn't went on my 10 weeks escapade, I would have graduated by now. No love lost. I think both he and I made a good deal. I wrote 3 papers for him and he left me off in slightly past a year.
Now I have to wonder about what to do from October till next Feb or June before I start work. I haven't taken up the offer yet, but CS has given me the option of 2 starting dates. Suddenly faced with so much free time, I wonder if I should just stay on till June and write up another 2 papers then negotiate for a PhD in <3yrs. How cool is it to tick Dr instead of Mr for your salutation? It only take another additional year of effort.
Anyone has a 3day a week part time job? I will do anything
My supervisor has officially given me the go ahead to look for work! His generosity surprised me when he told me to wrap up whatever I am doing now and get cracking on my thesis. He even offered to be my referee. I guess he hadn't found out about my great escapade last summer. Now come to think of it.. If I hadn't went on my 10 weeks escapade, I would have graduated by now. No love lost. I think both he and I made a good deal. I wrote 3 papers for him and he left me off in slightly past a year.
Now I have to wonder about what to do from October till next Feb or June before I start work. I haven't taken up the offer yet, but CS has given me the option of 2 starting dates. Suddenly faced with so much free time, I wonder if I should just stay on till June and write up another 2 papers then negotiate for a PhD in <3yrs. How cool is it to tick Dr instead of Mr for your salutation? It only take another additional year of effort.
Anyone has a 3day a week part time job? I will do anything
9.8.10
ndp observation
"guess who's in charge"-cjeven if your legs are short.
8.8.10
δΈθͺιε
My chances are pretty slim; probably near zilch. Nothing to lose anyway. Job application for commodities trading. sent!
haha.. if i get it, everyone gets a treat! hur
haha.. if i get it, everyone gets a treat! hur
7.8.10
long weekend
It was a slow start to a long weekend. I took the chance to sleep in as the wet morning was too cool to pass. It wasn't until my stomach started to growl before I felt more encouraged to get out of bed. The late night supper did not tide over until this morning as I had hoped. I usually flip through the newspaper during breakfast on most mornings. The routine has altered slightly. Instead of reading the headlines news first, I turned to RECRUIT. My job seeking instinct kicked in together with the coffee. I suspect that there's might be a correlation between the two, though probably no causality.
*flip *flip *flip... no vacancies for fresh graduate in asset management. If everyone wants to hire people with experience; who trains fresh graduate then? I wonder what is the success rate people who look for jobs in the newspaper if you compare it to the JobsDB. Perhaps the good thing about news paper is that you do not have to direct your search at a specific company, industry or role. Everything is laid out for you in the newspaper. *flip *flip *flip... P&G *flip *flip *flip... Mckinsey *flip *flip *flip.. nothing. maybe I should check out risk management too.. since its skills set are more congruent with my computational research..
or perhaps I should just stick to IT..
*flip *flip *flip... no vacancies for fresh graduate in asset management. If everyone wants to hire people with experience; who trains fresh graduate then? I wonder what is the success rate people who look for jobs in the newspaper if you compare it to the JobsDB. Perhaps the good thing about news paper is that you do not have to direct your search at a specific company, industry or role. Everything is laid out for you in the newspaper. *flip *flip *flip... P&G *flip *flip *flip... Mckinsey *flip *flip *flip.. nothing. maybe I should check out risk management too.. since its skills set are more congruent with my computational research..
or perhaps I should just stick to IT..
4.8.10
education
Erica Goldson graduated as valedictorian of Coxsackie-Athens High School last month. She reflected my sentiments and put them down in words. Either I was lacking in self expression or linguistic prowess, but it was something which I was not able to do.
The speech in its entirety:
Here I stand
There is a story of a young, but earnest Zen student who approached his teacher, and asked the Master, "If I work very hard and diligently, how long will it take for me to find Zen? The Master thought about this, then replied, "Ten years . ." The student then said, "But what if I work very, very hard and really apply myself to learn fast -- How long then?" Replied the Master, "Well, twenty years." "But, if I really, really work at it, how long then?" asked the student. "Thirty years," replied the Master. "But, I do not understand," said the disappointed student. "At each time that I say I will work harder, you say it will take me longer. Why do you say that?" Replied the Master, "When you have one eye on the goal, you only have one eye on the path."
This is the dilemma I've faced within the American education system. We are so focused on a goal, whether it be passing a test, or graduating as first in the class. However, in this way, we do not really learn. We do whatever it takes to achieve our original objective.
Some of you may be thinking, "Well, if you pass a test, or become valedictorian, didn't you learn something? Well, yes, you learned something, but not all that you could have. Perhaps, you only learned how to memorize names, places, and dates to later on forget in order to clear your mind for the next test. School is not all that it can be. Right now, it is a place for most people to determine that their goal is to get out as soon as possible.
I am now accomplishing that goal. I am graduating. I should look at this as a positive experience, especially being at the top of my class. However, in retrospect, I cannot say that I am any more intelligent than my peers. I can attest that I am only the best at doing what I am told and working the system. Yet, here I stand, and I am supposed to be proud that I have completed this period of indoctrination. I will leave in the fall to go on to the next phase expected of me, in order to receive a paper document that certifies that I am capable of work. But I contest that I am a human being, a thinker, an adventurer - not a worker. A worker is someone who is trapped within repetition - a slave of the system set up before him. But now, I have successfully shown that I was the best slave. I did what I was told to the extreme. While others sat in class and doodled to later become great artists, I sat in class to take notes and become a great test-taker. While others would come to class without their homework done because they were reading about an interest of theirs, I never missed an assignment. While others were creating music and writing lyrics, I decided to do extra credit, even though I never needed it. So, I wonder, why did I even want this position? Sure, I earned it, but what will come of it? When I leave educational institutionalism, will I be successful or forever lost? I have no clue about what I want to do with my life; I have no interests because I saw every subject of study as work, and I excelled at every subject just for the purpose of excelling, not learning. And quite frankly, now I'm scared.
John Taylor Gatto, a retired school teacher and activist critical of compulsory schooling, asserts, "We could encourage the best qualities of youthfulness - curiosity, adventure, resilience, the capacity for surprising insight simply by being more flexible about time, texts, and tests, by introducing kids into truly competent adults, and by giving each student what autonomy he or she needs in order to take a risk every now and then. But we don't do that." Between these cinderblock walls, we are all expected to be the same. We are trained to ace every standardized test, and those who deviate and see light through a different lens are worthless to the scheme of public education, and therefore viewed with contempt.
H. L. Mencken wrote in The American Mercury for April 1924 that the aim of public education is not "to fill the young of the species with knowledge and awaken their intelligence. ... Nothing could be further from the truth. The aim ... is simply to reduce as many individuals as possible to the same safe level, to breed and train a standardized citizenry, to put down dissent and originality. That is its aim in the United States."
To illustrate this idea, doesn't it perturb you to learn about the idea of "critical thinking." Is there really such a thing as "uncritically thinking?" To think is to process information in order to form an opinion. But if we are not critical when processing this information, are we really thinking? Or are we mindlessly accepting other opinions as truth?
This was happening to me, and if it wasn't for the rare occurrence of an avant-garde tenth grade English teacher, Donna Bryan, who allowed me to open my mind and ask questions before accepting textbook doctrine, I would have been doomed. I am now enlightened, but my mind still feels disabled. I must retrain myself and constantly remember how insane this ostensibly sane place really is.
And now here I am in a world guided by fear, a world suppressing the uniqueness that lies inside each of us, a world where we can either acquiesce to the inhuman nonsense of corporatism and materialism or insist on change. We are not enlivened by an educational system that clandestinely sets us up for jobs that could be automated, for work that need not be done, for enslavement without fervency for meaningful achievement. We have no choices in life when money is our motivational force. Our motivational force ought to be passion, but this is lost from the moment we step into a system that trains us, rather than inspires us.
We are more than robotic bookshelves, conditioned to blurt out facts we were taught in school. We are all very special, every human on this planet is so special, so aren't we all deserving of something better, of using our minds for innovation, rather than memorization, for creativity, rather than futile activity, for rumination rather than stagnation? We are not here to get a degree, to then get a job, so we can consume industry-approved placation after placation. There is more, and more still.
The saddest part is that the majority of students don't have the opportunity to reflect as I did. The majority of students are put through the same brainwashing techniques in order to create a complacent labor force working in the interests of large corporations and secretive government, and worst of all, they are completely unaware of it. I will never be able to turn back these 18 years. I can't run away to another country with an education system meant to enlighten rather than condition. This part of my life is over, and I want to make sure that no other child will have his or her potential suppressed by powers meant to exploit and control. We are human beings. We are thinkers, dreamers, explorers, artists, writers, engineers. We are anything we want to be - but only if we have an educational system that supports us rather than holds us down. A tree can grow, but only if its roots are given a healthy foundation.
For those of you out there that must continue to sit in desks and yield to the authoritarian ideologies of instructors, do not be disheartened. You still have the opportunity to stand up, ask questions, be critical, and create your own perspective. Demand a setting that will provide you with intellectual capabilities that allow you to expand your mind instead of directing it. Demand that you be interested in class. Demand that the excuse, "You have to learn this for the test" is not good enough for you. Education is an excellent tool, if used properly, but focus more on learning rather than getting good grades.
For those of you that work within the system that I am condemning, I do not mean to insult; I intend to motivate. You have the power to change the incompetencies of this system. I know that you did not become a teacher or administrator to see your students bored. You cannot accept the authority of the governing bodies that tell you what to teach, how to teach it, and that you will be punished if you do not comply. Our potential is at stake.
For those of you that are now leaving this establishment, I say, do not forget what went on in these classrooms. Do not abandon those that come after you. We are the new future and we are not going to let tradition stand. We will break down the walls of corruption to let a garden of knowledge grow throughout America. Once educated properly, we will have the power to do anything, and best of all, we will only use that power for good, for we will be cultivated and wise. We will not accept anything at face value. We will ask questions, and we will demand truth.
So, here I stand. I am not standing here as valedictorian by myself. I was molded by my environment, by all of my peers who are sitting here watching me. I couldn't have accomplished this without all of you. It was all of you who truly made me the person I am today. It was all of you who were my competition, yet my backbone. In that way, we are all valedictorians.
I am now supposed to say farewell to this institution, those who maintain it, and those who stand with me and behind me, but I hope this farewell is more of a "see you later" when we are all working together to rear a pedagogic movement. But first, let's go get those pieces of paper that tell us that we're smart enough to do so!
I know i am anti institutionalism.
The speech in its entirety:
There is a story of a young, but earnest Zen student who approached his teacher, and asked the Master, "If I work very hard and diligently, how long will it take for me to find Zen? The Master thought about this, then replied, "Ten years . ." The student then said, "But what if I work very, very hard and really apply myself to learn fast -- How long then?" Replied the Master, "Well, twenty years." "But, if I really, really work at it, how long then?" asked the student. "Thirty years," replied the Master. "But, I do not understand," said the disappointed student. "At each time that I say I will work harder, you say it will take me longer. Why do you say that?" Replied the Master, "When you have one eye on the goal, you only have one eye on the path."
This is the dilemma I've faced within the American education system. We are so focused on a goal, whether it be passing a test, or graduating as first in the class. However, in this way, we do not really learn. We do whatever it takes to achieve our original objective.
Some of you may be thinking, "Well, if you pass a test, or become valedictorian, didn't you learn something? Well, yes, you learned something, but not all that you could have. Perhaps, you only learned how to memorize names, places, and dates to later on forget in order to clear your mind for the next test. School is not all that it can be. Right now, it is a place for most people to determine that their goal is to get out as soon as possible.
I am now accomplishing that goal. I am graduating. I should look at this as a positive experience, especially being at the top of my class. However, in retrospect, I cannot say that I am any more intelligent than my peers. I can attest that I am only the best at doing what I am told and working the system. Yet, here I stand, and I am supposed to be proud that I have completed this period of indoctrination. I will leave in the fall to go on to the next phase expected of me, in order to receive a paper document that certifies that I am capable of work. But I contest that I am a human being, a thinker, an adventurer - not a worker. A worker is someone who is trapped within repetition - a slave of the system set up before him. But now, I have successfully shown that I was the best slave. I did what I was told to the extreme. While others sat in class and doodled to later become great artists, I sat in class to take notes and become a great test-taker. While others would come to class without their homework done because they were reading about an interest of theirs, I never missed an assignment. While others were creating music and writing lyrics, I decided to do extra credit, even though I never needed it. So, I wonder, why did I even want this position? Sure, I earned it, but what will come of it? When I leave educational institutionalism, will I be successful or forever lost? I have no clue about what I want to do with my life; I have no interests because I saw every subject of study as work, and I excelled at every subject just for the purpose of excelling, not learning. And quite frankly, now I'm scared.
John Taylor Gatto, a retired school teacher and activist critical of compulsory schooling, asserts, "We could encourage the best qualities of youthfulness - curiosity, adventure, resilience, the capacity for surprising insight simply by being more flexible about time, texts, and tests, by introducing kids into truly competent adults, and by giving each student what autonomy he or she needs in order to take a risk every now and then. But we don't do that." Between these cinderblock walls, we are all expected to be the same. We are trained to ace every standardized test, and those who deviate and see light through a different lens are worthless to the scheme of public education, and therefore viewed with contempt.
H. L. Mencken wrote in The American Mercury for April 1924 that the aim of public education is not "to fill the young of the species with knowledge and awaken their intelligence. ... Nothing could be further from the truth. The aim ... is simply to reduce as many individuals as possible to the same safe level, to breed and train a standardized citizenry, to put down dissent and originality. That is its aim in the United States."
To illustrate this idea, doesn't it perturb you to learn about the idea of "critical thinking." Is there really such a thing as "uncritically thinking?" To think is to process information in order to form an opinion. But if we are not critical when processing this information, are we really thinking? Or are we mindlessly accepting other opinions as truth?
This was happening to me, and if it wasn't for the rare occurrence of an avant-garde tenth grade English teacher, Donna Bryan, who allowed me to open my mind and ask questions before accepting textbook doctrine, I would have been doomed. I am now enlightened, but my mind still feels disabled. I must retrain myself and constantly remember how insane this ostensibly sane place really is.
And now here I am in a world guided by fear, a world suppressing the uniqueness that lies inside each of us, a world where we can either acquiesce to the inhuman nonsense of corporatism and materialism or insist on change. We are not enlivened by an educational system that clandestinely sets us up for jobs that could be automated, for work that need not be done, for enslavement without fervency for meaningful achievement. We have no choices in life when money is our motivational force. Our motivational force ought to be passion, but this is lost from the moment we step into a system that trains us, rather than inspires us.
We are more than robotic bookshelves, conditioned to blurt out facts we were taught in school. We are all very special, every human on this planet is so special, so aren't we all deserving of something better, of using our minds for innovation, rather than memorization, for creativity, rather than futile activity, for rumination rather than stagnation? We are not here to get a degree, to then get a job, so we can consume industry-approved placation after placation. There is more, and more still.
The saddest part is that the majority of students don't have the opportunity to reflect as I did. The majority of students are put through the same brainwashing techniques in order to create a complacent labor force working in the interests of large corporations and secretive government, and worst of all, they are completely unaware of it. I will never be able to turn back these 18 years. I can't run away to another country with an education system meant to enlighten rather than condition. This part of my life is over, and I want to make sure that no other child will have his or her potential suppressed by powers meant to exploit and control. We are human beings. We are thinkers, dreamers, explorers, artists, writers, engineers. We are anything we want to be - but only if we have an educational system that supports us rather than holds us down. A tree can grow, but only if its roots are given a healthy foundation.
For those of you out there that must continue to sit in desks and yield to the authoritarian ideologies of instructors, do not be disheartened. You still have the opportunity to stand up, ask questions, be critical, and create your own perspective. Demand a setting that will provide you with intellectual capabilities that allow you to expand your mind instead of directing it. Demand that you be interested in class. Demand that the excuse, "You have to learn this for the test" is not good enough for you. Education is an excellent tool, if used properly, but focus more on learning rather than getting good grades.
For those of you that work within the system that I am condemning, I do not mean to insult; I intend to motivate. You have the power to change the incompetencies of this system. I know that you did not become a teacher or administrator to see your students bored. You cannot accept the authority of the governing bodies that tell you what to teach, how to teach it, and that you will be punished if you do not comply. Our potential is at stake.
For those of you that are now leaving this establishment, I say, do not forget what went on in these classrooms. Do not abandon those that come after you. We are the new future and we are not going to let tradition stand. We will break down the walls of corruption to let a garden of knowledge grow throughout America. Once educated properly, we will have the power to do anything, and best of all, we will only use that power for good, for we will be cultivated and wise. We will not accept anything at face value. We will ask questions, and we will demand truth.
So, here I stand. I am not standing here as valedictorian by myself. I was molded by my environment, by all of my peers who are sitting here watching me. I couldn't have accomplished this without all of you. It was all of you who truly made me the person I am today. It was all of you who were my competition, yet my backbone. In that way, we are all valedictorians.
I am now supposed to say farewell to this institution, those who maintain it, and those who stand with me and behind me, but I hope this farewell is more of a "see you later" when we are all working together to rear a pedagogic movement. But first, let's go get those pieces of paper that tell us that we're smart enough to do so!
I know i am anti institutionalism.
mug
While being bored, I read a blog entry on PhotoJoJo. The entry-
"Just a week ago, we walked into our local cafe, and our barista handed us our latte in a mug that looked just like a lens! She even topped it off with camera-shaped latte art and creamer in a film canister! Behold, the Camera Lens Mug, a mug that looks JUST LIKE a Canon 24-105mm lens! It's equipped with a lens-cap lid (omg), rubber-grip focus and zoom rings (o…m…g), and an auto-focus switch that actually switches (OMG)! It's so realistic, you might have to use post-its just to remind yourself which is your mug and which is your lens! Picture yourself sipping on a sweet tea vodka while basking in the sun or having the coolest desk in the office with your lenticular jelly-bean holder or scooping a delicious ice-cream fudge sundae out of your amazingly versatile lens mug. You can even turn it into a nifty flower-pot! "
"a mug that looks like the real thing."-cj
"comes complete with a cap too."-cj
"after a hot day shoot."-cj
"it can take hot stuffs too."-cj
"you know now exactly how versatile the 24-105mm lens is"-cj
"can u tell which is the real thing?"-cj
I wonder if they come in other sizes. 50mm f-1.4 , 18-200mm?
3.8.10
i cannot do it
Their black eyes looked like tiny shiny beads delicately sewn onto their slim bodies. I peered at it cautiously. Not moving closer. Not inhaling. Not touching it. I was told they are safe touch; their spiny claws have already been mercilessly pulled off. If the pain of losing their two limbs was not enough to kill them, the tribulations that will follow shortly probably will. The smaller ones are not putting up a fight, probably it's their way of acknowledging their impending demise with quiet resentment. Their bigger counterparts struggles to flee back into the safety of the waters with every chance they got. Fruitless. Even if they manage to find their way back to their water, it is a slower death through starvation.
"Grab one, it's not as scary as you think"
In this world that penalizes smallness, I know they are not scary. They are only the size of my palm. I am not able to bring myself to hold such fragile lives in my hand, lest impale them from head to tail. Their not struggling did not help very much as I have already filled my guilt ridden head with images of myself being impaled. What a painful way to die, I thought. Funny for me to think of Confucius' Golden Rule now: Do not do to others what you do not want done to yourself. That has never crossed my mind when I feasted on chicken. Perhaps the unlikely event of being turned into chicken feed had warded off any guilt that comes with eating chickens. Why didn't that same apathy kick it now? Was I afraid of being turned into fish feed? Or I no longer think of them as sea food or dietary supplements.
"Touch it."
I held out my hand for what seemed like eternity and finally lay a feeble finger on its head. I closed my eyes, squeezed them into a thin line and waited for the moment. Nothing. There was not any overwhelming gushes of memories nor any sudden warmth that embodies me as two souls connect. Nothing. Maybe it has nothing to say to me. I curled my fingers back into the protective fist, took a step back and walked away.
Dismemberment. Impalement. Barbecued.
prawning post processing is not for me.. i will help to de-shell them later once they are red.
"Grab one, it's not as scary as you think"
In this world that penalizes smallness, I know they are not scary. They are only the size of my palm. I am not able to bring myself to hold such fragile lives in my hand, lest impale them from head to tail. Their not struggling did not help very much as I have already filled my guilt ridden head with images of myself being impaled. What a painful way to die, I thought. Funny for me to think of Confucius' Golden Rule now: Do not do to others what you do not want done to yourself. That has never crossed my mind when I feasted on chicken. Perhaps the unlikely event of being turned into chicken feed had warded off any guilt that comes with eating chickens. Why didn't that same apathy kick it now? Was I afraid of being turned into fish feed? Or I no longer think of them as sea food or dietary supplements.
"Touch it."
I held out my hand for what seemed like eternity and finally lay a feeble finger on its head. I closed my eyes, squeezed them into a thin line and waited for the moment. Nothing. There was not any overwhelming gushes of memories nor any sudden warmth that embodies me as two souls connect. Nothing. Maybe it has nothing to say to me. I curled my fingers back into the protective fist, took a step back and walked away.
Dismemberment. Impalement. Barbecued.
prawning post processing is not for me.. i will help to de-shell them later once they are red.
2.8.10
sprain
The strain on the shoulders is getting a little unbearable. I am not really sure when it had started to hurt or what had caused the strain. It could be bad sleeping posture or the prolonged sitting at the desk with the arms propped up to type at the computer. I didn't went out to cycle this week, lest the hunched cycling posture aggravates my back. Bringing my computer to the bed to type was not a good idea at all as I have to prop myself up on the elbows and this will further strain my shoulders as I try to keep my back straight. Lying on the bed was the most comfortable position until i began having bed sores. Maybe I should consider asking my cousins to walk all over me literally. I bet they have been wanting to do that for a while.. sic*
i should see a doc.
i should see a doc.
1.8.10
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)